19/2000

Okay, this is an experiment

As I seem to have stopped writing in my private blog, I thought I'd give public blogging a shot.

My partner in crime is the delicious and delightful Jax Lee.  I gonna write in an understated blue, and she'll... probably pick hot pink.

Okay, so what is this about? It is not that I think that my writing is any good.  Nor do I think I have anything original to say. The purpose of this is not necessarily to grandstand, to tell people what to think, to stir up discussion, any other reason besides...: I find it easier to write essays if I first get all of the random thoughts in my brain out onto a blog first.  So, strap in kids, you're gonna get the overflow of crap from my brain.

It seems that today I'm writing about: writing (how postmodern! lol), uncertainty, and what I should be doing instead.

I find it really interesting how dialogue in it's written form reflects how the author actually speaks

I have recently edited a tome of an essay.  22,000 words of awesome fact and opinion on good government, somewhat mashed together into what is definitely comprehensible, but not particularly academic.  Of course, with my anal retentive attitude about the legal academic referencing system, I am incredibly frustrated that I do not have the freedom to just correct everything.  But then again, is that just asserting authority, turning what might be a beautiful collaboration into a rhetorical pissing competition?  I don't want that.  I really need to bite the bullet and action that paper.

But back to my original point (I do get off point now and then...).  I have read so much in the last few years, and I love readability.  To criticise the lack of readability of one's own lecturers is a cheap and easy dig.  I would never do that.  Actually, I would.  But I recently dug into the writings of a new friend, which argues that the sovereignty of the nation lies with the Chapter III Courts.  As much as I hate the argument (sovereignty can not be appropriated, and it's status is so, so fucked in Australia, and... and...), it was still nice to read the 10,000 words of someone who lives so far away, and hear their voice through their writings.

Female uncertainty

Oh gosh.  Where do I start; I know that every step of the way, I feel like people tell me to 'tone it down'.  These people range from my dear, dear father, to peers, to colleagues, to employers, to human resources consultants... all of the people.  I also know that I'm not very good at 'toning it down', and that this has resulted in my aggressive misery for long periods of times.

I find postmodernism useful in trying to dissect what is pure oppression from what is a reasonable attempt to fit into society.  Actually, I don't find it useful at all, because it turns out that it is all oppression.  Nothing in 'toning it down' is anything but trying to accommodate other people's discomfort at my personality.  I also know that my personality is not *that* aggressive/assertive, and I'm not the worst person in the world at conforming.  I just wonder... if this personality was not in the female form, or if I inhabited the body of a benchmark male, would I have so many problems with attaining opportunities?  Would I hesitate when applying for jobs?  Would more people say yes?  How much does the fact that I am a non-conforming woman in my mid-thirties put the brakes on?

It is an impossible thought experiment.  Empathy does not reach that far; we actually cannot really know the experiences of another.

Getting on with it

I have a corporations law paper to write, on a topic that I have zero interest in.  The problem is not so much that it is a difficult paper, it isn't.  It is more that any paper that I write about commercial law, or private enterprise, I'm going to be pro-regulation and corporate social responsibility.  The lecturer is a libertarian.  But I'm also a good enough student to want the high marks, so I'm going to argue his perspective.  I won't go so far as to reference the Spectator, or Wikipedia (I know! right!), because, as I mentioned before, I have a thing for the beautiful academic style.  But I will write a whole paper against my better judgment.  The cognitive dissonance though.  It nearly hurts.

But tomorrow is a new day, and a new assignment will be released.  So tonight I'm jacking myself up on coffee, and attempting to be coherent (and persuasive!) about something that I don't believe in.  Wish me luck!

Thanks for reading!

I'll attempt to keep this going for a while.  It should get interesting once I get out of law school and back into the real world.  For now, take a look at my writing desk.

Apollo Bay, Sunset, October 2015

Yes, I'm very very privileged.  Shannon out.